Wednesday, November 11, 2009

On being an orphan

Just this week, 5 of my friends became orphans. I've been thinking about what it means to be an orphan at 40 something. Actually, for me it was 30 something. I couldn't give my friends any assurance that the lost feeling of being parentless will go away. In fact, nearly 15 years later it hits me every so often and usually when a significant event happens in my life or the life of my family. For instance, when my brother and sister-in-law got married and then had their first child. Both events were cause for great joy in our family, touched with a bit of sadness that my parents weren't there to celebrate with us. And as my niece and nephews grow up, I often think how much my parents would love to be part of their lives. And how much my sister, brother and I want them to be with us and even still, give us their advice. I still miss my mom and dad. I want my niece and nephews to know their grandparents, but they never will. I haven't tried to replace them with 'other' parents. But God has blessed me with important, mature and wise people who I can turn to when I need a little parenting. It's not the same, but I'm grateful for that blessing.

Being parentless brought my siblings and I closer together. I think we are more concerned about each other and check up on each other more, because we don't have parents who do that. I am so grateful that loss didn't separate us. God keeps us connected and we know we need each other.

Yes, being an orphan is sad even as a grown up. Thank God, He puts us in families, both literally and in the church. To my 5 friends, I'm sorry and I pray comfort and peace for you. I also pray that the emptiness will be filled by your amazing physical family and by your spiritual family. God is faithful and He is our Father who knows what we need.

3 comments:

Lesa said...

Brian and I were just talking the the other day about how weird it is to not have your parents. Both of us have lived for years and years away from home, but you still have that orphan feeling when they're not there. I still have the key to their front door in my desk drawer, even though the house was sold several years ago ...

Keep blogging!

My Story Radio said...

We miss your Mom & Dad too, Evie. I can't begin to understand, but we mourn with you again today.

Kapten Clark said...

I'll always be grateful that you took us in, life refugees in the middle of the night, when we were en route from Estonia to America for my mother's funeral.